Me - the Foodie Apprentice...

My mother tells me that when I was born, I was small enough to fit into a shoe box. I am not sure if this is something I want to believe because it seems I may need therapy if it is true. She also told me that she and my dad would put me to sleep at night by driving their Volkswagen Beetle on the Autobohn... probably the reason I cannot drive more than 5 miles without feeling like I am going to fall asleep behind the wheel.

I started out small and stayed that way for a long, long time. In high school I was a size 7, which is considered smaller than... I don't know, someone bigger. My best friend in high school was a size 14. Not a "normal" size 14, a I-need-to-go-to-the-little-girls-6X-to-14-area, size 14. It was sick. In my eyes, my size 7 body was fat. Oh, how I wish I was a size 7 now!

My first marriage started with me being a cute-as-a-button-and-oh-so-happy size 10... it ended with me being an angry-soon-to-be-ex-wife size 22. Yes... indeed. I had some fertility issues and during my darkest days Dark Chocolate Dove Bars became my best friend.

I left my first marriage with the determination and drive to do something about myself. I went on a very healthy diet of Altiods and Mountain Dew. I dropped weight like this *snapping fingers* and snagged myself a Foodie!

On one of our first dates, my husband rattled off a list of his top ten favorite meals of all time. Oh. My. God. A top ten list of favorite meals??? WHAT?? Are you kidding me? People make lists? Not only did he have a list, he knew where he ate it and in what month and year and what he was feeling when he ate it.

For the first time in my life, I knew I was in Foodie trouble.